Jode´s Wedding Invites.

So I can finally blog about Jody´s wedding invites cause she has informed me that they have been sent and received and I won´t spoil the suprise for any of the guests. Jody is my sister for those who don´t know her, my twin to be exact & she is getting married in April 2008 in Las Vegas! Fun! So I designed and created her wedding invites, its not going to be a traditional wedding so a non traditional invite was called for. She is completely not a bridezilla and told me I could do whatever I wanted. (Although she was quite picky about the perspective of her name on the Vegas sign - what are you bride an engineer?!) They were really fun to do, that is, except for the part of actually putting them all together. Sometimes designers are more creative than they are smart, and although the layered look of the invites looked fab, the red, then black, then white printed squares of course all came in seperate pices and had to be glued together. This was obviously not thought through. So with 60 invites in total, I had to stick one square on another square, oh only 660 times!!! This was first attempted with double sided sticky tape, when during the first weekend of invite workshop 2007 I didn´t even make a dent on my pile, I tried standard glue, this too was risky as I wasn´t sure it would hold, I finally gave in and spent (well Jody gave in really cause she had to fit the bill!) 36 euros, yes thats right 36euros (18 each! highway robbery) on 2 cans of spray glue to finish the job. I spent countless hours over 8 days sicking sticking and more sticking. I had a sticky tape injury on my finger from when the tape gets stuck and you pull it off and after 100s of times doing this the skin decides to start to come with it. I had a spray glue nozzle tattoed into my finger from so much pressing that didn´t go away for days and the day after I finished I had to spend the day in bed cause my back was so sore from so much bending i could hardly walk!!!! Who´s idea was this???? Oh mine. Stupid Kristy.

Well they were received in NZ by Jody and Chris who loved them and that sweet sound of praise cured any pains I still felt and quitened the repeated voices in my head that said "that bitch owes me 1000s of Margaritas in Vegas" No - along with the praise thats great for the ego, I did it for love and I do not expect any Margaritas (OK maybe just 1?) And if any of you lucky guests are reading this IF YOU THROW THE INVITE IN THE BIN I WILL NOT TALK TO YOU AT THE WEDDING.

So... the fabulous wedding of Jody and Chris, Las Vegas.....

Christmas Lottery

No I didn´t win, OK, I went in the draw with people from work and I did win 6euros but that hardly counts as winning the lottery. Ok let me just say, the Christmas Lottery draw in Spain is SO SO SO bizarre and confusing. Its called El Gordo The Fat One. Its the biggest lottery in the world giving away up to 2 billion euros (though not all at once).
A whole ticket billete is very expensive, costing 200€. However, these tickets are split up into ten decimos (tenths/ten seperate tickets) costing 20€ each. When buying your tickets you have the choice of buying a single decimo, a whole ticket, or a fraction of your choice. If you don't buy the whole ticket, someone else will buy the rest of your ticket.
THEN on Dec 22, the draw is televised and it has been written to be "the most boring and monotonous TV show in the world" cause it goes for 5 hours non-stop, the balls drop, a number and then a prize amount, little kids who strangely are orphans of Madrid's San Ildefonso school take turns in chanting (yes chanting, not speaking, saying OR singing) the winning numbers into a microphone, they all chant the same way, in the same tone and believe me the tone is WEIRD! Its so weird I had to get this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJdpIXah6mE from you tube to show you an example of how it sounds, believe me I can´t undertsand what numbers they are chanting but they chant about 2000 different numbers and 2000 different prizes so it all turns into a big blur after a while. In the video the kids are walking over to the cameras to say the numbers for the last 3 times cause its a big prize, They say it 3 times when they draw it, but if its a big prize they also say it to the judges 3 times and the cameras 3 times. I mean you just want to shoot these poor orphans!!! They are so annoying!!!

Christmas Party. Spanish Style

Dang Christmas parties are fun! What could be more fun than free alcohol and seeing your boss and workmates make a fool of themselves. (as long as you are not the foolish workmate all is good). This trend transcends continents thats for sure. Our Christmas party was being held during the day, we have another HQ in Cádiz, 2 1/2 hours south of Seville, so our CP was held in Jerez, a town pretty much in the middle of Cádiz & Seville. They hired a coach to take us all there. We had to work in the morning until 12:30pm, but these hours were pretty much taken up with a bit of nail painting and JuanLu, the big bloke that sits next to me taking all the laptops out of the company laptop bags to fill them with bottles of beer for the trip to the party. The trip to the party was pretty rowdy and could have easily been mistaken for a year 6 trip to Canberra. There was lots of beer drinking, and screaming and some wannabee flamenco singers in the middle complete with tamborine. There was this one girl who didn´t stop singing flamenco songs that had everyone in stitches, I couldn´t understand what the fuck she was singing about it but if her porn type movements and the screams of outrage from the crowd had anything to do with it it must have been some risque flamenco. The trip was only 1 1/2 hours long but it ended up taking closer 2 1/2 cause we had to have a pee pee stop, with 60 people lining up for 1 toilet at the petrol station! So much beer consumed in such a short amount of time and the crowd had to break the seal ALREADY!

The party was held at a finca, a country house in the sherry country of Jerez de la Frontera. The grouds were quite pretty and really spanish looking.

The starters and glasses of sherry were taken in the "Patio de los Toros" unfortunately there were no real toros here, though everyone loves to see a crowd scramble when a bull is let lose. They actually do that in small villages, Stuff Pamplona, its for the weak! Get yourself to a small village during their party week and watch grandma run for her life as the a wild bull is let lose with no set track. That shiz is madness.

Everyone loves to have a bulls head looking down at you while you eat, these suckers were right behind me. Before coming to Spain I was quite against the whole bullfighting thing, don´t get me wrong I still kinda am, but now I undertsand a bit more about how big the culture is and how ingrained it is into said culture. Apart from the part where it gets killed, the bullfighting is quite beautiful, the bullfighter quite skillful & brave and who the hell doesn´t like to yell Olé when the bull almost stabs the bullfighter through the testicles?

And you just can´t say that this bullfighter isn´t an absolute hottie. Hello Fran Rivera, where do you think you´re going.....

A bullring was situated right next to our tables during the lunch, small of course, and after lunch there was a dancing horse show, complete El Caballo Blanco style, that is one clever horsey let me tell you.

And then after the horse show, a little bull fight, not with a bull, but a baby cow. There were rumours that we would be able to have a go doing it, but I was glad that it turned out to be a mere rumour when I saw that thing charge, it was small but it was an angry little bugger. Don´t worry, it didn´t get killed, they just played with it, the sword wasn´t even real, it was plastic and at one stage it snapped, the dodgy bullfighter dropped the cape and the bull rolled around in it. See no killing, fun times for little cow.

There was a prize ceremony and lots of great prizes were given out, including the one that I had my eye on, the trip to Istanbul, which was unfortunately (not for him, just for me) won by a guy that i work with Juan Carlos. Who by the way everyone cals Juanki or Juanka for short and its pronounced Wankey, or Wanka! Funny! I won a red scarf - yeah, great a red scarf... over the moon. During the prize ceremony, raunchy flamenco singer got up on stage and did an even raunchier rendition of one of her songs, including some strange moves that involved flashing her undies, this was done with the boss next to her on stage and the image of her undies and the boss´s tomato red face is forever etched in my mind.

After a few copitas (spirits at the open bar) I had a photoshoot inside the bullring, here we are, ana, reyes and me making like bulls in front one of the protected areas. Well they are making like a bull, I am actually doing the peace sign, spot the español.....

I don´t even remember taking this photo but isn´t this guys moustache cool, he was on the wall near the toilets, and they say his name is Cantinflas and he is an old mexian comedian. Cool mo Cantinflas.

Halloween

Photos a little bit after the fact but better late than never. I couldn´t bring the digi to the party cause Marcos had it in New York so I had to wait till the monkey monster sent me the pics. My friends Isabel & Domingo had a Halloween party at their place, I don´t have much imagination or budget for good Halloween outfits but I found this wig that I suppose made me Medusa. Wigs are funny.

Isabel witch, Medusa me, fake scary man (he is NOT real and I am NOT dirty dancing with him, photos are deceiving!) and Carlos monkey monster.

Pablo pirate, Medusa me, fake scary man (we´re just good friends) and Isabel witch.

You know you´ve lived in Spain when....

I just joined this group on facebook titled you know you´ve lived in Spain when..... and they have a funny list about living in Spain which sums up quite well some spainisms, so I thought I would share my favourites.... (The italics are my explanations for the unexplained spainisms).

1) You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is perfectly acceptable. Especially at lunch time.

2) You can't get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they're shutting just as you should be going out?

3) You've been part of a botellon. a drinking party held in the street/a plaza/anywhere

4) You think it's fine to comment on everyone's appearance.

5) Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.

6) On msn you sometimes type 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'

7) You think the precious aceite (olive oil) is a vital part of every meal. And don't understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.

8) You're amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films.

9) You forget to say please when asking for things - you implied it in your tone of voice, right?

10) You love the phenomenon of giving 'toques' - but hate explaining it in English. (Calling someone on their mobile and hanging up before they answer so that they see a missed call from you on their phone)

11) You don't see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack - they're just what all the cool kids eat.

12) You know what a pijo is and how to spot one. (yuppie)

13) Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: 'bueno,' 'coño,' 'vale,' 'venga,' 'pues nada'...

14) You know what 'resaca' means. And you probably had one at least once a week when you lived in Spain. (hangover)

15) You know how to eat boquerones. (fresh anchovies)

16) A bull's head on the wall of a bar isn't a talking point for you, it's just a part of the decor.

17) You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.

18) You know that after 2pm there's no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.

19) If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out...

20) It's not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking 'Diga?' (Speak!)

21) The fact that all the male (or female) members of a family have the same first name doesn't surprise you.

22) You know that the mullet didn't just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.

23) You know the difference between cojones and cajones (testicles & drawers), tener calor and estar caliente (to feel hot & to be horny), bacalao and bakalao (cod & a type of disco music), pollo and polla (chicken & penis), estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo (to feel exhausted & to have sex) ...and maybe (definately!) you learned the differences the hard way!

24) On a Sunday morning, you have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.

25) Floors in bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas (cigarette butts), servilletas (serviettes) etc. Why use a bin?!

26) You see clapping as an art form, not just a way to express approval. Olé (the flamenco clap)

27) You know ensaladilla rusa (russian salad) has nothing to do with Russia.

28) When you burst out laughing every time you see a Mitsubishi Pajero (thanks Stuart Line for reminding me of that one!) (Pajero means wanker in Spanish)

29) You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion...

30) When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.15...if you're lucky!

31) Central heating is most definitely a foreign concept. In winter, you just huddle around the heater under the table & pull the blanket up over your knees...and sleep with about 5 blankets on your bed!

32) Aceite de oliva (olive oil) is 'muy sano' (very healthy), of course. So you help yourself to a bit more.

33) When women think that clear bra straps are in fact invisible.

34) When it's totally normal for every kitchen to have a deep-fat fryer but no kettle.

35) When you know what a guiri is / have been called one (slang word for foreigner)

36) When you add 'super' in front of any adjective for emphasis

37) Blonde girls actually start to think their name is 'rubia' (blondie)

38) When you accept that paying with a 50 euro note is going to get you a dirty look if you're buying something that costs less than 40 euros

39) If something is great, it's 'de puta madre'

40) You can eat up to 5 times a day - first breakfast, 2nd breakfast around 11.30, almuerzo, merienda, cena

41) You know the jingle for Los Cuarenta Principales...

43) If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won't make sense. (Pebble Night was a personal favourite)

44) When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it's standard practice to ask 'Quien es la ultima?' Who´s the last one?

Now I am going to add a couple of my own.

45) You no longer crave fresh milk

46) You actually start to believe that you might catch the cold of death if you go barefoot in inside the house.

47) You no longer put the plug in to wash the dishes.

48) You bring a toothbrush/toothepaste to work to brush your teeth after lunch.

49) You think its normal to drink champagne at the end of the meal instead of at the beginning (or all the way through for that matter!)

50) You love lentils

51) You know what a pressure cooker is and how to use one

52) The idea of blood sausage or pigs cheek doesn´t make you dry retch but lunge for the plate with a salivating mouth.

53) You know how to tell by taste if the jamon (iberian ham) you are eating is pata negra (black foot)

VIVA ESPAÑA!

Thanksgiving

Being that most of my english speaking friends here are American, last night I celebrated my first ever Thanksgiving. It was held, most obviously at an Irish bar call Flaherty´s who put on a pumpkin soup, turkey baked dinner with cranberry sauce and apple pie (complete with the american flag as seen above) feast. In Spain, lunch is the biggest meal of the day, we usually just eat a salad for dinner, so I was midly concerned that I wouldn´t fit it all in, but as often happens, I suprised myself with my eating powers and polished off the whole lot including mopping up all the gravy with bread to leave my plate looking like it just popped out of the dishwasher - sparkling... TUBS! I thought there may have been some special Thanksgiving songs that I could learn but that was just little ol ignorant me who thought it was kinda like Christmas with jingle bells cheer. They said that some people say one by one what they are thankful for but most there seemed to think that was a pretty daggy thing to do. Bummer, I was gonna be thankful for the american dollar being so weak so that when I go there next year my euros will be like pure gold.

Here we all are at the table, being thankful for yummy food and digital cameras. Viva America!

El Campo & The Blog Premier of the new hair!

On Sunday we went to a friend of Marcos´s family (Valentina & Isidro - I LOVE the name Valentina!) house in the country to eat Migas. Yes the main purpose of the day/trip was to cook and eat Migas. (Eating is just about as important to spanish culture as drinking outside on a hot day is to aussie´s (or probably just drinking in general)). Their country house is in the village of El Pedroso, where Ms Mum grew up. 60kms from Sevilla. Marcos´s family also have a little house in the same village, though its best not to enter it in case the roof falls on your head which is very likely considering its state. They also have a property, that Ms Dad spends alot of time on, though it doesn´t have a house on it yet, it has what we call "the ruins" which will one day be turned into a house when/if Marcos gets off his fat ass and designs one, we are unsure which will come first, his drivers licence or the house, probably neither. Anyway, Valentina & Isidros house is on a beautiful big property and they grow lots of fruit & veg, lots of which gets passed on to us.

Migas are a traditional country meal, cooked on an open fire using stale bread, lots and lots of garlic, sometimes potatos and chorizo. The sheep hearders eat this for breakfast because with this in their bellies they could be out without having to eat again all day. (It sits like a brick in your guts!)

Of course it can be made just by one person but its much more fun in a group with everyone gathering around the fire to take turns in stirring it. The bread goes in, pre soaked, so its wet, and you have to mix it until the water evapourates and the bread gets dry and crunchy like breadcrumbs. This can take over an hour so taking turns stirring is easier on the old arms.

I was given a turn stirring for photographic purposes, (look new hair!) but was quickly kicked out by the bossy spanish types saying that I stir too slow. Bah! Don´t worry though, what I make up for slowness in the stirring stakes, I give back in the eating stakes. After its done we set up a table outside and all stand round digging in with spoons, no double dipping rules here. The plastic bottle in the foreground of the pic that looks like petrol is actually mosto, a young red wine also drank in the countryside particalarly for its cheap and nasty attributes. Yummy! Tastes like Benadril! Marcos warned me to eat slow cause I had no idea what I was waiting for if I ate too much. Of course I didn´t listen to him and then at home at 7pm I had to go lie down cause I felt like I was carrying triplets and couldn´t stop thinking (and feeling) about all that bread in a big triplet lump in my belly.

And I leave you with a pic of me (with new hair!) cracking open almonds (taken from Ms Dads property) with a hammer, which was suprisingly fun, and at which I was suprisngly good at.

Stupid Job.

Can´t I just get a job, that I like, that is stable, that pays me decent money IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???????

SO it seems that Kristy/Spain/October always brings the latest job debacle... its not 100% yet, but things are grim at the mo. At my work, since I started here there hasn´t been much work to do, I don´t even know why they hired another designer, (there are 16 of us) but its been quiet for ages, in July they fired one guy (well didn´t renew his contract), then last week they fired 2 other people, told them one afternoon and the following day was their last day. They said there will be more to come so the atmosphere here is really dodgy, everyone wondering who will be next. My contract finishes in Feb, so it makes sense that I will be one of the next ones to go... It will really fuck everything up for me here cause I have to renew my visa in Jan, can only renew it with a contract - which they probably won´t give me....that means I have to start looking for a job NOW to start in Feb - but to who will give me my contract by Jan!!!!

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Oh the stress!! Stupid fucking Spain.

So who knows what they hell is going on. I don´t even know if I want to be a designer anymore. I am sick of it. I hate people.

I applied for a job as a tour guide - they said people with mortgages shouldn´t apply cause the pay was too unstable. What about people who pay rent? What about people who need to eat regularly? Stupid jobs. It has been suggested that I teach english full time, (I do 3 classes a week with people who don´t seem to know yet that my english is terrible and I don´t even know how to recognize a noun). I think this will make me want to neck myself. I was asked what the difference was between, alot, lots of, many, some. I didn´t even know how to explain it. Stupid english.

On a brighter note (not) I went to the dentist today and my tooth really hurt while they drilled a cavity so they gave me craploads of anesesia (can´t even spell that see! crap english teacher!) and one side of my face is paralized (temporarily) up to my eye! It feels weird. Only half of my face can smile and not until I feel spit on my chin do I realise I am dribbling.

Stupid dentist.

Welcome to the world little baby Isabelle

Carrie´s sister just gave birth to this cute little alien! Look at its freaky funny wrinkly hands! So cute!

Photos

A full set of all my photos can be seen at this web link....

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kristyperkins/sets/

xx

Barcelona

Back on Spanish soil & VIVA España! Everything become cheaper and in a language I could impress Tula with. In France we were trying to throw a few french words around, Tula becoming amazingly good at saying Merci in a perfect french accent and everything. I was quite jealous. Italy was totally impossible cause we hardly came across anyone that spoke Italian anyway. In Barcelona the catalans were tre impressed with my spanish, especially the fact that I spoke with an andalucian (southern) accent! I have an accent!

First night out and we had a lovely dinner, all that I had been telling Tula about how Spain is Oh so much cheaper came true when when we order a set menu for 18 euros that included a jug of wine, then we spot champagne on the menu for a mere 6.50! Viva España! Of course we decided to celebrate this and order a bottle to have with our entrees! Viva Hangover! Here is the Tula with said champagne.

Next day out and the champagne continues to flow during our day doing all the Antonio Gaudi sites. We stopped for a picnic in Park Güell with cute little mini bottles of champers to keep us suitably tired (good idea at the time) whilst seeing La Sagrada Familia afterwards.

After a champagne induced siesta we were ready for a big night on the town, dinner, red wine, more red wine in a local bar whilst waiting for the absinthe bar to open, (the spanish start late). The absinthe bar is quite cool except for the people who run it. Nasty bunch, I am sure Picasso would have bitch slapped those a-holes. It is supposedly kept in its original state from the days that Picassso and the cool art crowd used to get loopy on absinthe there. "original state" here means really bloody dirty - cobwebs and all. You get a big glass of absinthe, a spoon, sugar cube and a bottle of water and you gotta pour the water over the sugar cube placed on the spoon.

Here is Tula before she realised SHE WAS VERY VERY DRUNK, still happy, smiling and able to remember what she was doing.

We moved on from there pretty quickly, to another bar that is decorated inside to look like you are in a forest - here we realised Tula was VERY DRUNK from the absinthe. Tula doesn´t not remember even being here, (and the vodka wasn´t helping this) nor does she remember the impromtu photoshoot in the bathroom of the bar. Drunky Drunky!

The next day she suffered from a nasty absinthe hangover, and had to ask for a bag to vomit in while we were in topshop. I was buying a a really cool belt so left her outside to suffer the shame of dry retching on a spanish street on a weekday. Poor Love. Cool belt.

Venecia!

Madonna Mia! So the next stop was Venice, and after a fantastic time in Paris, Venice had a lot to live up to. Oh its beautiful and all, but I am not quite sure we even saw any Italians! I don´t really remember it being that way last time I went, but we seemed to be constantly surrounded by tourists no matter where we went. And OLD tourists at that! We found ourselves saying "where´s the cool bars?" like a couple of nerds looking for a party that they weren´t invited to. It was nice to relax a bit after a pretty busy time in Paris.

When I say relax I don´t mean yoga and meditation, I mean more like sitting in Campo Santa Magarita watching the world go by whilst sipping on several tasty beverages. Here we are in said campo with an olive from said beverage.

We realised in Venice that we had both packed rather stupidly, more for a carribbean beach getaway than for freezing autumn weather. I left Sevilla with still 30 deg tempertaures, thinking that the temp couldn´t vary that dramatically in a neighbouring country (wrong).

We had an AMAZING meal at a recommended restaurant, so authentic that the menu was only in Italian (OK so at this place there were Italians...and thats IT!) and we didn´t understand a word. And so authentic that the bitchy waitress wouldn´t help us chose!! We realised after lots of charades that the meals were for 2 peope to share so we got ourselves a big mother plate of this spagetti scampi (someone else was eating it, throw the menu away - no comprendo!) a big jug of wine and of course, the only italian dessert that never disappoints - a heavenly panacotta. (which we STUPIDLY shared thinking we were full and may I note here that I looked away for one second at Tula had inhaled far more than her half in one scoffing - bitch).

Here we are so proud with our yummy spagetti scampi.

Tula Trip

So the trip is OVER and its so depressing but man Tula and I had a damn good time! Travelling is fun, travelling with a best pal is fun, drinking everyday is fun!

So the trip started in Paris, I flew to paris from Sevilla and Tula flew to Paris from Sydney. A very glamorous place to meet methinks. Tula arrived earlier in the day and was waiting for me in the hostal room. Our reunion sure was emotional NOT. Of course we did some screaming and hugging and jumping and then I exclaimed ever so subtly "THIS ROOM STINKS" Tula said it was her and I said it couldn´t possibly be, she said she hadn´t showered yet from the 30 hour flight, went out earlier and had 3 glasses of wine (good aussie) and then had been sleeping with the window closed for 6 hours. I still didn´t believe her as the stench was so foul, but low and behold, windows open, Tula showered, the room - fresh as a daisy. That Tula, she´s cute but man can she build up a stink!

Poor love was a bit messed up from the flight, and after a lovely first night dinner and lots of wine and champers, we finally went to bed and like friends who haven´t seen each other for ages couldn´t stop giggling, our neighbours banged on the door for us to shut the hell up and of course that made us giggle even more, I then exclaimed that it was 3 and we should try and be nice and Tula exclaimed "What, three AM???" As it was dark outside and we were in bed I don´t know how she could possibly confuse AM with PM but maybe the trip from OZ does that to you - makes you stupid. Here is Tula in the stinked out room showing me the pillow we had to share that looked like a sausage.

I really love Paris, I have been there before a couple of years ago with my Mum and we had a great time too. The french are no meaner than any aussie rushing down george street being stopped by a japanese asking for directions. We did have one waitress on the first night that was awful. She was so awful we couldn´t stop laughing and the more awful she was the more we loved it. French. Mean. Love it GIVE US MORE BITCH!!!

We met up with my french friend Camille who I met last summer in Bilbao, she is so great and speaks english AND spanish with a cool french accent. She has even been to OZ and loved it so she rocks. Here we are at this cool bar she took us to where we dranks cocktails bigger than our heads. Love this girl!

One of our favourite Parisian meals was this fun place, where you order a set menu that consists of making your own salad from a big basket of raw vegetables and salad item that sits on your table. I thought this was fun, Tula wasn´t so down with a D.I.Y meal that cost 40euros. Then you can go to the buffet where you chose from a display of dubious undescribable things. Tula said the buffet smelt like fart but don´t trust the stinky girl I say. Probably what makes all this bearable is the fact that there are big barrels all around the place where you can fill up your jug with red wine. Unlimited amounts of red wine! An aussie group bigger than us 2 would have drunk that place DRY! After the entrees you get your choice of a slab of meat, then after that a humongous cheese platter, that is impossible to finish.

Here is Tula coming back with our second jug, the effects of the first jug obvious and with Tula slipping into something more comfortable - notably her brickies labourer singlet. Perfect attire for a night out on the town.

One thing I wanted to do on my 2nd trip back to Paris was got to the catacombes, I didn´t get to go with Mum and the sound of underground tunnels filled with bones sounded cool to me. It was so spooky! Undeground tunnels used in the resistence (I forget what that means exactly - sorry Mum there were so many bones I couldn´t concentrate!) which mirror the parisian streets above. Well after the resistence, they were unused so when they had to exhume a Parisian cemetry they filledl the tunnels with the bones. It was all a big mess of bones until one guy (don´t know who -the bones the bones!) decided to arrange them in a tourist friendly fashion. The result is spooky and cool. Lots of skulls and bones. Here is Tula making like a skull.

More skeletons and on to the Chateau of Versaille another thing i didn´t go to with Mum. It was quite beautiful but call us simple, we wanted to see the palace as it could have been in its day, with manequins of servants and the king at the table, all robots and moving just as they would have. Just like at Old Sydney Town.... OK OK we´re simple but Marie Antoinette´s bed had plastic on it! Authentic my ASS! This skeleton was on display in the gardens which were pretty impressive. Cool huge skelton.

We loved the gardens and hired bikes to cruise around in style, they were imense and 20 times bigger than the palace.

The worse thing about Paris was leaving it... we were flying from Beauvais Airport which is in the middle of nowhere, avoid it at all costs. We got to the place where the bus left from. Unfortunately the bus means exactly that. There is ONE bus that coincides with your flight that leaves from Paris and of course we had just missed it. The next one left in 3 hours, so we had had no other option but to get a taxi the 90kms to the airport 90KMS IN A TAXI! I COULD HAVE BOUGHT THE RED BOOTS!!!!! So after a 120euro cab ride we made our flight to Venice. stupid beauvais airport. i can´t even spell your stupid name. I love you Paris. I hate you Beauvais.

Bad Blogger

So before I blog about my trip with the Tula I will blog about my weekend. It will probably be a very boring blog because it was a very boring weekend.
Marcos left for NY on Saturday, he is gone for 10 days of fun with his cousin although he sent me a text on the first day that read "just walked 3 hours to get to this sordid hotel (his english is SO improving!) NYC is not so cool, Sidney is better." Yay Sidney! Hold on...SIDNEY he can´t even spell it right!!!!!!! Oh so he knows how to say SORDID but not SYDNEY! BAD SPELLER BAD BOYFRIEND!!!
So... on Saturday night, being all alone, I accepted a job being a "hostess" at a climate change conference that was being held here in Seville, to which Al Gore was going to attend. I didn´t really know what being a "hostess" required but having nothing the hell else to do I decided I didn´t care. I got to wear a black business suit, blue scarf, sheer stockings and heels. I felt like an air hostess!! So Glam!! (I am saving it to be my halloween costume). On arrival to the conference I was told that we will be working at the "dinner" not the conference. Then basically all I had to do was tell the people to get on the buses, count them as they got on...and THATS IT! THEN I had to wait, WATCH them enjoy a dancing horse show (el caballo blanco eat your heart out) a bit of flamenco dancing, enjoy a beautiful 3 course meal and get blind drunk. Yes I had to WATCH THEM, all the while standing, and giving directions to the dunnies (toilets) if needed. Oh I was waiting for someone to ask me where the toilet was..all night, it was the hightlight of my duties. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO BORED IN MY LIFE. If I wasn´t in the middle of nowhere I would have run right out of there. Al Gore didn´t even attend the dinner so I didn´t even get to see him! And whats worse they told me he flew to Valencia on his PRIVATE JET! Um excuse me but isn´t this a conference on CLIMATE CHANGE? and aren´t private planes BAD? I was so bored I wanted to cry. (I really hate being bored) The only thing that kept me going was that I couldn´t stop farting...all night. Don´t know why but maybe my body was also bored and wanted to amuse itself.... they weren´t smelly thank god, but loud! So all I could do to fill in time was try to control myself and release when the coast was clear. Tough night at the office let me tell ya. So then at the end of the night I had to stand by the buses and count the people in. I am NEVER EVER doing that again. B-O-R-I-N-G.

The river

Every morning I cross the river on my bike to go to work, its a nice ride to work and when I see the river on a particularly pretty morning it always puts me in a chipper mood. I took a pic this morning. So here it is.

Photos of The Snail Family

I would like to introduce to you to The Snail family. After we painted them, the next day we didn´t see any, we were scared we killed them all!! but bit by bit they all re-appeared, and more empty ones just keep on comin!

Here is Bob, he stayed like this for 2 days! He must´ve been really tired, we thought he was dead but on day 3 he was up and moving again!

And whitey!! With the flash he looks like a glowing ball! He is doing some sliding down the leaf slippery slide. Fun!

Lola is secretly our favourite one. She was the first one painted so we have a soft spot for her.

Sarah, we fit your name on one!!! But sorry, you are a bit gross and have left behind an unsightly trail of slime.

And here are a whole heap of them together having a little snooze during the day! Happy snail family!

Last night I saw 2 little teeny tiny ones! Little babies! I named its mother P after my pal Pennie, but I messed up the P, it looks like a lollypop, so Marcos has to fix it, but P is the mother of these little cuties!!! So tiny!

Snail Family

So my apartment is located in a block that has 2 typical andalucian patios inside, you enter the block through the street door and are greeted by a big beautiful patio, you walk up to the back corner and there is another little patio which sits directly in front of our apartment. Both patios have lots of pots with plants growing wildly, but the one that sits in front of ours has a lot more pots and plants and is more private as we are the only ones that ever need to go through it.

So in the evening we have to dodge lots of slow moving snails that cross the patio in search of a change of scene or a certain someone. YES WE SAW SNAILS SHAGGING!!!!
Anyway Marcos bought home some liquid paper from work and we´ve been giving them all identities so we can get to know which one is which!!! (Is it cruel to paint on snails? I am torn between the correctness of it all!!??) I thought Marcos was gonna just put a small dot on them, 2 small dots on another but when I came home he had already started (its really his idea – I think it may be cruel but I don´t know why so I am enjoying it but keeping away in case the RSPC gets called) and he showed me “Lola” named after a friend from work with a BIG L.O.L.A scrawled over her shell. Poor Lola.

We are mostly naming them after friends except for one poor little critter, that Marcos came in with and said “Look!!!! I named one Mick!!!! And I said “No you didn´t – you wrote Mike” and he said, “No it says Mi…OH NO!!!!!” So now we have a misnamed snail. We named another one Mick though, so now we have, Mick, Mike, (Poor Mike – got the wrong name) Amy, Lola, Tula and one really small one that started off as number 7 cause nothing else would fit but Marcos fucked up the number so now he is called whitey called Marcos just made his whole shell white to cover the mess. Hmmm maybe it is cruel. But this morning we saw Lola and we said “Oh Hello Lola!!!” – Marcos screamed, “Look Kristy, Lola´s out!” Maybe she is the only one that survived the liquid paper poisoning of their sensitive shells?

I asked the people at work if they think its cruel and they all say no way! (They seem so sure?) Iciar, even said that we should use glow in the dark paint instead so we can find them better at night!!! Now THAT’S cruel!!! They´ll be blinded by the neon in their sensitive teeny tiny eyes.

So next Tuesday I am leaving sunny sevilla for my adventure with Tula!!! Can´t wait!!! We are meeting in Paris, then flying to Venice then to Barcelona then back to Sevilla. A girly holiday is going to be great and just what I need before I start the long road to saving for Las Vegas 2008!! (Jody´s wedding) America is expensive!!

I´ll see if I can update on the road! I hope the snails are OK while I am gone.
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Office Partae´s

At work when its someones birthday and they can be bothered to do stuff we have a little party in the office. The birthday person brings food and beer and we all stop for a little piss up. Today it was Ana´s birthday (pictured) and she bought lots of goodies but most importantly the beer. Sorry for the bad quality of the photos, the digi was left at home and I had to settle for a few dodgy phone shots.

A standard on the menu is tortilla de patata, she also had a empanada that her Mama made which was bloody tasty althoough in the pic it just looks like one giant burnt meat pie. The red stuff next to the beer is tinto de verano, which is red wine mixed with fizzy sweet soda. Its the premixed stuff, I am not a big fan, I prefer it made fresh in the bar. We have now drunk all the beer. My boss just pulled out a bottle of Ron Miel (honey rum) so as we speak I am sipping a large glass on ice, its sweet but its still rum, I have no idea how potent it is. Lucky I don´t drive. (Can´t you get pulled over for drink driving on a bicycle? In OZ I am sure you can but here I am sure its OK)

Here is a pic of me getting into the cerveza - a rare sight seeing as I didn´t touch beer in OZ. The ol cruzcampo is a little softer that VB methinks. I am looking a bit spastic and wearing my dress that Marcos calls the "Dolce & Banana Dress" Its very yellow but I likey.

xx

Weird Ass Outfits

One thing you notice walking around the streets of Sevilla is that lots of the kids are dressed like little mini freaks. Ok maybe thats a bit cruel - dressed like they are living in a different century. Mostly the parents look normal - they certainly don´t get around in this sort of get-up. Its a "look" that is quite popular here for kids and never ceases to amaze me what some parents make their kids wear. In the plazas (squares) where lots of kids play in the afternoons, if one runs past me I scream at them in english "Don´t let your parents dress you like that" They won´t understand me of course I am just hoping subconsciously they know what I mean - I am trying to save them. Here is a pic of a shop window showing some of the latest fashions. Yes thats right, that one on the left is for a BOY. Told you they look like freaks.

Birthday Weekend

Its Tuesday and I still feel like I am recovering! What a huge weekend for little ol 29 years Kristy...

Mick an aussie in London, was coming to visit for the long weekend. He arrived on Friday night at 10.15pm and after arriving back from an 8 day work holiday from south africa only the night before - he was in no real mood for a party but he soldiered on as only aussie´s can and came out to meet all my friends for drinks at Cafe Central in Alameda, which is a small bar that gets so packed everyone spills out drinking onto the street and is only a hop skip & a jump from my house. God Damn we had a fun night! Of course can´t remember much of it and all of my photos are me with isa, me with the americans etc etc. get ready for lots of me with ... photos! Is it me or do I have exactly the same smile in all photos? and why didn´t anyone tell me I had an annoying hair across my forehead? friends eh.

Here is Mick with Marcos and me with Mick - there´s that dastardly hair!

We started the night with a mojito at my place and continued with vino, beer and tintos (red wine mixed with soda or lemon drink a quick substitute for sangria) at the bar before quickly swapping to caipirinhas - as they didn´t do mojitos at the bar. (to cheap for mint - thats what I call palces that don´t serve mojitos)

Here is a pic of me with Isa, who I work with when there is that drink crossover when you find yourself with a warm glass of wine and a fresh caipirinha, don´t worry fellow aussie´s I didn´t let anything go to waste...

A few of the lovely americanitas. we have an "americanitas and one odd aussie" event coming up which will be sure to be fun. Sarah, the proclaimed leader of the "americanitas and one odd aussie" gang so kindly named me the one odd aussie, I requested it to be changed to one hot aussie but odd seems to have stuck. fuckers.

L-R Rachel, the newest addition, Sarita, Tiffany and me....with that HAIR! Argh! The photo was taken by Tiffany´s husband Luis who derserves a whatssup cause he´s so sweet.

Maria and Miguel, lookin mighty guapos, who yáll (is it the ameican influence?) might remember from last weekend´s trip to Isla Magica and the dinner party group. They are a fun (and damn good looking!) pair.

and.... the funnest gang from work... and 2 of their boyfriends.

L-R Isa, Reyes, Iciar, Jorge (Iciar´s man) and Adrian (Reyes´ man) Adrian

I almost got into a bit of fisticuffs when Adrian claimed that I spoke spanish like Victoria Beckham, considering she can´t actually speak spanish I almost had him in a headlock. We made up, I can´t remember how but there are no black eyes so everything is rosy.

Hey almost forgot Amy, my lovely americanita pal who gave me phone credits for my birthday!!Gold! She is clearly sick of me having not credits!!! I´ve never had so many credits on my phone! Its time to text it all away!!

She has superhuman white american teeth and a tan that says "I didn´t work all of august" She doesn´t do anything on Sunday´s ever which she calls "gods day" and she respects this day by staying in her pajamas and watching sitcoms all day. And she really does do this. "Wanna go to the movies?" "Sorry i really can´t - its gods day" I have now taken to using this phrase. Its a fantastic excuse to do nothing.

So after the Friday night drinking bonanza, which was held on a Friday night so that I wasn´t hungover on Sunday for my actual birthday - who´s plan that was I do not know (mine) cause we ended up going to a BBQ at Eric´s house (another american, pal and design client) for his flatmate Amelia´s birthday. I reluctantly let the focus off myself to enjoy a rooftop BBQ with lovely food - although lovely Amelia had 2 cakes and decided to share 1 with me so everyone sung us happy birthday which was nice - me me me. There was vodka consumed and we ended up at home at 4.30am and with a hango

ver the next for my actual birthday.

We went to the beach for the day which was fantastic as the weather has been a bit rainy this week and you get the feeling that summer is on the way out, so it was nice to get some sun & sand. I left the pics on my laptop so I will upload them tomorrow. A lovely & relaxing day.

I had Monday off work to spend it with Mick, we hired him a bike - one of the new sevici bikes that are in little racks that are popping up all over the streets of sevilla and we rode all around sevilla, past the cathedral...through the Parque Maria Luisa, a beautiful park in the middle of Sevilla....

We were supposed to have lunch in front of this lovely church in Triana (a neigbourhood across the river in Sevilla) called Santa Ana....but the bloody thing was closed. Lots of restaurants close on Monday´s.

So all in all it was a great birthday weekend. I am bloody tired and as I went to the beach on Sunday and missed gods day, I think it will be gods day every afternoon this week and I will be catching up on some lounge time......