As I did a you know you´ve lived in Spain when.... list not long ago, this list, taken from smh.com.au and being aussie day and all, is a necessary addition to this blog.

How do you tell if you are a true Aussie?

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
4. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
5. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
6. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
7. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
8. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
9. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread. (Vegenmite!)
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
25. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
26. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
27. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
28. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
29. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".
30. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
31. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
32. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".
33. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".
34. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
35. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
36. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

The Australianitas and 8 odd seppos.

For one night only the Americanitas and 1 odd aussie gang turned into the Australianitas and 8 odd seppos. As we had an Americanitas event for Thanksgiving, I thought it only fair to have an event for Australia Day.

The invite read, Australians all let us rejoice cause we are young and free, which taken directly from our national anthem, can easily be translated as lets have a big party and get pissed cause we don´t have a liver problem or kids yet.

We started the evening off at my place, where with all the australia themed stuff Mum has sent me over the years, everyone agreed that if I was an american I would be a redneck. There was my full sized flag and my australia flag fairy lights, my australia flag handbag, and of course I brought out the old australia flag tattoos. (Thanks Mum!) I made a big poster that had lots of australian slang words for people to learn. It was fun to hear the americans saying "He was a good root" and "Rack off hairy legs" I taught them what a seppo was, and for the spanish boyfriends I told them they were "bloody wogs". Racism Fun times.

I couldn´t think of an australian cocktail so I made caipirinhas, using both lemon and limes to make the green & gold, green & gold straws and the old australian flag on a swizzle stick. With Bernard Fanning, The Herd and Ben Lee playing in the background, I think the americans got a feel for the australia day spirit. Having it during the day, listening to the Hottest 100 on JJJ and adding a bit of cricket would have made it more authentic but with the time difference, the fact that its winter and that no-one knows what the hell cricket is, made these things quite impossible.

I also made the americans try vegemite baguettes which I decorated with some little aboriginal flags, they were quite a hit and thankfully didn´t have anyone running for the toilet for a vommie which is what Marcos predicted they would do. (He HATES vegemite, can´t even smell it. BAD boyfriend) Sarita is here with the vegemite. She particularly liked the word "clacker" from the slang list although hasn´t quite learned how to use it, asking everyone "hows your clacker?" Is there any other way to use this word other than "stick it up your clacker" ?

Marcos unfortunately couldn´t celebrate too much with us as the following morning he was running a half marathon so he was steering clear of the caipirinhas and on the orange juice, he did however put on a tattoo and kept it on for the race the next day showing his solidarity in his sleeveless running top. ZEXY QUASI AUSSIE!

After the little cocktail do at my place, we went for tapas, OK OK not very australian I know, but if I had an oven I swear I would have made meat pies, lamingtons, anzac biscuits etc but without an oven what the hell can you do? NADA!! So tapas it was, followed by a little dancing and a lovely well deserved hangover the next day.

VIVA AUSTRALIA!

Sun brings Joy

Probably thanks to global warming, Sevilla has just had a weekend of blue skied 20 degree weather in the middle of winter, aaaaay! The sun worshipper in me comes out and the feeling of the warm sun brings such joy!!! Oh the joy! Thanks to the sun I just had a fantastic weekend. It at least briefly bought back my normal positive mood as I am currently having a hellish time worrying about job/life/location, which I seem to go through every once in a while. The weekend started with drinks at a bar, where my friend Isabels paintings were being exhibited, I really like her style, check her out at http://www.flickr.com/photos/isarte/ Then we went to dinner at her house along with her boyfriend Paco. (They are both ex-workmates and like my soon to be fate were retrenched not so long ago) We had a lovely dinner, drank wine and laughed when I said the famous line in Dirty Dancing "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" which everyone thought was ridiculous. They reckon that in Spain they don´t have as many memorable one liners from movies. I personally have a whole list of favourite lines from movies, granted most of them are from Happy Gilmore - "I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast." "You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?" and Zoolander - "hansel so hot right now hansel." Paco could only think of "Abre los ojos" Said in a scary voice, which is from the original spanish version of Vanilla Sky. No-one at the table tended to agree with him. In fact even "Hasta la Vista Baby" from Terminator, being a famous one liner for us, in spanish as "Sayonara Baby" doesn´t really rate a mention.

Anyway, on Saturday Marcos and I started swimming! To use the public swimming pools in Sevilla you have to be a member, to be a member you have one chance a year to stand in a line for 4 hours to ensure membership. In our case Marcos lined up in the rain for us, but finally...we are members! Its a very coveted thing and we are so excited. We started on Saturday. For 3 Kings Marcos bought me the whole swimming getup. I have a blue swimming cossie with a pink addidas logo on the front, a pink cap and silver goggles, and god damn I look like susie fucking oneil! Unfortunately I don´t swim like her, but it was fun, and afterwards we walked home in thongs, in the lovely global warming sunshine which washed all my cares away!

Sunday was an equally lovely global warming day, Marcos, who is training for the Seville marathon, went running with our friend Miguel who is also in training, afterwards, me, marcos, maria & miguel went to a nearby village called Carmona for lunch. I have been to a few villages close to sevilla but not many, I really liked Carmona! So pretty! We had lunch in a plaza and then afterwards walked around the streets which looked something like this pic

and up to The Parador which is an old palace/fortress thing that overlooks the countryside. So pretty and a bloody nice day. SUN SUN! BRING IT!!!!!

More Pics of Baby Betty

Oooooooh little Baby Betty sleeping so tiny and newborn and dang she has a big nose! I had to make the pics B & W cause no amount of colour ajustment could photoshop out the blinding pinkness that is the newborn. They sent me one pic that is just too horrid to put on this blog and it was of her, fresh from the womb and she was purple! And she looked frozen! She scared me. I like her better after she has gotten a bit of fresh air methinks.

Aren´t photos like these suppose to show how tiny newborn baby parts are? Betty´s feet are HUGE! And her big toe is strangely seperated from her second toe! And her pinky is bigger that the toe next to it! For the love of god I hope she bends into shape or get the kid a pair of chinese slippers and bind her up!

























Ooh Betty is so cute! She likes having her hands tucked up there!

Such a shame I can´t meet her yet.... will wait till her feet pop into shape and then we can become fully aquainted. I wanted her to come to J´s wedding but it seems Vegas is no place for newborns! Ba! Pokies can be enjoyed by folks of ALL ages!

Boredom

I am SO bored. The same thing happened this time last year, when I started this blog, remember, no work to do, sitting in front of the computer with nothing but emails and facebook to keep me occupied. All my time wasters are completed for the day. Read my favourite blogs lavidadesarita.blogspot.com & ohquepasa.blogspot.com , checked and replied to all emails and messages on facebook. NO-ONE WRITES TO ME NEARLY ENOUGH. checked www.smh.com.au for any OZ news, www.perezhilton.com for any wacky hollywood news, www.fotocasa.es just incase any amazing rental properties in seville for cheap as chips happens to pop up (negative) and thats really where it ends, nothing, I´ve got nothing, and now I am really bored. I hope this blog is making you bored too just so I don´t feel so bored alone.

I think I may play a game of solitaire online. Yawn.

Little Baby Betty Lee

My sister Teeny just gave birth to a little girl!!!!!! She wasn´t due till next week but came out a little early and was born on the same day as the Spanish King Juan Carlos! Well she must be destined for great things.... Her name is Elizabeth Lee (me and my sisters all have the same middle name so my sister is continuing the tradition for the girls) Elizabeth is my Nanna´s name but everyone calls her Betty so I have decided to nickname her Little Baby Betty, I think it has a real ring to it. Well here she is real wrinkly and pink, just born and the star of her first mobile phone pic message. She´s already giving her mother the fists so I think little baby Betty is going to be a trooper.

Los Reyes Mago

So when all the christmas festivities finish in OZ there is still one more to go in Spain.

The Spanish celebrate Christmas Eve with a family dinner, Christmas Day with a family dinner (no presents are given on Christmas day, except for me, when I get to open my presents sent from OZ and my lovely mama.) Then, New Years eve with a family dinner, and finally, on the 6th January, there is the day of Los Reyes Magos, The 3 kings (or wise men) who, as they were the bearers of gifts for baby jesus (baby cheeses) in turn are the bearers of gifts for all the little spanish boys and girls who are good throughout the year.

Their names are Melchor, Gaspar & Baltasar. On the eve of Reyes Magos, there is a big parade that follows a path all over the city, where there are lots of different floats filled with dressed up children in different themes, all throwing out buckloads of lollies to the screaming crowd. And when I say bucketloads I mean bucketloads, the lollies you catch on this day can still be found the following year as you can fill up several plastic shopping bags with the goods. Afterwards, the ground is caked with uncaught lollies and this makes for a very sticky walk home. In the midst of all these floats are the floats of each one of the kings, which brings a screaming crowd, and as the Kings are adults, instead of a 7 year old with a sloppy throw, they are able to throw out a helluva lot more lollies so you can be sure you will get a few in the face from this bloke. Its really quite dangerous, some of the naughtier kids on the floats actually aim and throw with all their might hoping, I suppose, that they just may take your eye out. In OZ that would be a lawsuit for the Harry Potter float waiting to happen.

An upside down umbrella is always a good idea, normally more around than in this pic, but you can see in the air the lollies flying ready to give someone a concussion. (the guys in front of the float are from the band, there is also catchy music playing)

So after the parade, you go home and go to bed, not before leaving your shoe out so that the Reyes know where to put your presents, and in the morning your shoe is surrounded by lovely gifts. I got a cool set for swimming (Marcos and I have just been accepted into the coveted council swimming pool, where you practically have to wait till someone dies to get in) addidas swimming cossie, I look exactly like Thorpie let me tell you, goggles, a pink swimming hat and a matching bag, a basket for my bike, some expensive wine and a pair of wooly black tights. Nice!

For breakfast we eat a Roscón de Reyes, which is like a creamy cake thing and if you are lucky enough your piece will have the little prize that will bring you luck for the rest of the year.

Then of course its lunch, which has now finished and tonight they will show the derby, which is the match between the 2 first devision soccer teams in Seville, which of course is a big deal, Sevilla Vs Betis, Go Sevilla! (I won´t be watching probably sleeping or reading or hanging out on the computer).

So happy Reyes everyone, as of tomorrow the Christmas festivities will be over but tomorrow is the start of the rebajas THE SALES! so that will give me something to cheer up about!

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

This morning my work computer wouldn´t turn on, the IT guy took it away and he just rang me to tell me that everything on the computer is lost. There was a major electrical fault and the "readable" part of the hard disk is damaged. NNOOOOOOOOOO. I had lots of personal stuff on there. (being sooooooo busy at work and all) 100s of photos that I retouched during countless hours free, at least 3/4 of the photos I don´t even have backup at home, all the original files of my sisters invites!! My new CV, there was heaps...I can´t think of it all, I am SO pissed off!!!!! I am sitting here trying to remember the other things I had on it.....Iciar who sits next to me said thats what she did when her handbag got stolen. I feel the same - its my digital handbag, all my things! Gone!

BASTARD COMPUTERS!!!!!! BACK UP PEOPLE. ALWAYS BACK UP!!!!!!!!!!

Naughty Christmas Party Workmate

Someone posted this on YouTube from work, its the girl from my office doing a spontaneous flamenco performance at the christmas party, the boss of my company is by her side and is turning a dark shade of red....