25 July 2010

New Job and Wine in pants

I am FINALLY gainfully employed. Got the perfect job, 8 month contract in a big company in downtown Vancouver. Good hours, 20 minutes door to door and just enough time there to work out what the hell I'm doing in 2011.

Soooooo many months of unemployment (ok only 3 but felt like forever) and I was beginning to think I would NEVER get a job. The drawn out interview process was painful and made me feel like I was being considered for  a job with the U.N. B is a Radiographer, he administers radiation to humans, he injects toxic dye into people's veins, he assists surgeons in operations and helps them locate shit. He arrived in Vancouver, called up the hospital closest to where we live and they hired him OVER THE PHONE. Oh this boy sounds like a nice lad, lets get him in tomorrow and hope he doesn't kill someone. No fucking worries.  So me, Graphic Designer, I just make words and pictures pretty, the closest I could come to killing someone would be to spill my cup of tea on them coming back from the lunch room while they have their finger in an electrical socket, not likely but possible. So for this job first of all I had to apply online, not just attaching a CV, but copying and pasting all my info into their online form, which is time consuming, takes a good half an hour and when you've applied for 1000 jobs like this you really do want to stab yourself in the eyeballs. Then I had to fill out an online questionnaire. Then I got called to do a telephone interview. Then I got offered a real life interview. I had the interview. I was having a really bad hair day. I thought for sure I didn't get the job. Who would hire someone with hair like this? But seems on this day, bad hair worked for me cause I got offered a 2nd interview. Then there are reference checks to be done. So much waiting! Such a PROCESS! Anyone would think I was going for a job as the CEO. Don't get me wrong, I am really happy to have been given this job, but B could kill someone and he got offered a job over the phone. Totally. Not. Fair.

Something else that is totally not fair is the fact that I discovered this item AFTER we went to the Sasquatch festival. 
Sasquatch! Festival. USA.
So we went to said music festival in the U.S of A, you can't take drinks in and bags get searched at the entrance, pretty standard. There was music and this scene was just screaming for a nice bottle of red to be enjoyed on the grassy knolls. So we put a whole bottle of red wine into 2 separate zip lock bags and B put one in the front of his pants and one in the back. Bit of a padded out man package and extra junk in the trunk, it was flawless. Once inside and set up on a grassy knoll we busted out the zip locks however there were a few security walking around and I wanted to be extra incognito, I decided to put our cups in B's shoes so as to camouflage the red liquid. Here is a pic of us looking completely innocent.
Just your average couple havin a drink from a shoe. Nothing to see here.
I mean, it was a great heist, but life would have been so much easier if I had of had the bad boy below, actually we would have been so much drunker as we could of doubled up then, Ben would have had a giant package filled with wine (every woman's fantasy) and I would have had me the cleavage I have been after for so long… One happy couple…
 The Wine Rack.
You can put a whole bottle of wine in this thing and there is a handy tube to put straight in your cup! And she looks so damn happy, as you would if you were sporting this bra. Look at my beautiful bazookas AND their ability to conceal this lovely bottle of red. I love this. It's on the birthday wish list.