17 June 2010

RIP Original white onsie

You wanna see the original white onsie as talked about in my previous post? The one that B wore while teaching small children to snowboard on "Onsie Wednesday", when the ass blew out in them and small children saw his undies?

RIP Original White Onsie. 

B's bum is pooky, but not that pooky in real life. That is one tight ass onsie.

PS. How can one image make you love someone more and at the same time wonder why you love them? Hmm.

16 June 2010

Smashin fashion on the slopes

My sister and her husband came to visit a few weeks back. Obviously, the first thing we did was take them out for a "Caesar" at a local bar, aptly named The Local.  For those of you fortunate enough to know what a Caesar is, its a purely Canadian concoction made from vodka, clamato juice and chilli, the glass is celery salt rimmed and adorned with, in this case, an olive, a mini stick of salami and a bean. What is clamato juice you ask? When I first heard this word I thought it was made up. It is not made up, it is for realz, and it is tomato juice mixed with clam juice. Clams, as in, from the sea. Those yummy bivalve molluscs usually consumed in a pasta or with white wine & garlic. In Canada they drink their foaming juice, mixed with vodka, in a cocktail. Gross you say? Hellz no. Clamato juice is yummy! Especially yummy when consumed in a glass shaped like a boot! 

Actually, this isn't the first time my sister has encountered a Ceasar. Before we left Sydney we had a party and made a few Caesars for our most treasured guests. Unfortunately we couldn't get our hands on any clams so B decided to substitute clams with mussels. Molluscs! They're all the same! So he foamed up some mussels and mixed up the most badass Musselato Caesar Sydney had ever seen. The day after the party, whilst out on our balcony, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw what looked to be vommit in our basil plant. The party was good but it wasn't that good. On later inspection I found the dried, crustyness to be a Caesar! Someone had poured their caesar into my basil plant!!!! A few weeks later, my sister sneakily questioned if my basil plant had a recent, un-natural growth spurt. She poured her Caesar into my basil plant! Bitch! She confessed that yes, although the beverage was septic liquid, she was actually attempting an experiment where the strange ingredients in a Caesar would cause our herbs to grow out of control. Like hulk basil or something. She is dim a smart girl. But she was serious. Anyhoo, I made her drink another one, a proper one in Canada, in a boot. And she loved it.

 We took a trip up to Whistler for a day of skiing/snowboarding. I had no idea that the trip to Whistler would be so beautiful! We drove along the coastline and had views like this most of the way! So many islands that line the coast from Vancouver. I spent the whole time with my camera out of the window trying to capture the beauty. Landscape photography at 120 km/h isn't as hard as it looks! Got me some stellar shots and we didn't even waste a minute on the road.

This day of snow action was to be the last day of season for us and the day that THE onesie, was to be unveiled. I ended up wearing B's onsie from a few years back and Ben wore my onsie that I bought from the Salvos for $10.

Behold, the onsie.

Look at her, so shiny! So lavender! So cinched at the waist! She has gold lining btw. Plush gold lining. Mmmm comfy.

Why did B wear my onsie? Look into his crutch area. He is a snowboarding bullfighter in this one, and the lavender one was worse. It was to protect the future existence of our offspring.

B, who actually pioneered the onsie idea, having sported them for quite a few years on the slopes, first owned a crisp white onesie. He partook in "Onsie Wednesday" and taught small children to snowboard in it. Until one day, while teaching small children, the ass blew out, and small children saw his undies. RIP original white onsie.

During the search for excellent onsies, we came across some other choice pieces. Some for the low price of $2! So, as my sister and husband were not planning to hit the slopes, they had nothing to wear. But don't worry, we had them sorted. And we had something very special planned for my sisters husband. Now, you have to understand something about my sisters husband, he is damn good fun, but out of the 2 of them, my sister is the more outlandish one, she is the one more likely to enjoy embaressing herself, and he more likely to sit back, glass of Gewürztraminer in hand and mock laugh at my sisters antics. So we were quite shocked that he agreed to wear this:

Behold the brightest 2 piece you'll ever see on a man unless you time travel back to 1983. 

And not only did he wear this, he wore it with style. He strutted around the slopes like he had been wearing blinding pink pants his whole damn life. B & I thought our onsies would be more popular, but in the ski village, it went like this, (true example); Someone saw me and exclaimed, "sweet onsie" then they see B, "oooh, man onsie, sweeeeeeeeet"  THEN they see my sisters husband and they scream "WooHooo. WINNER!" 

My sister was not wearing anything outlandish, she got the bottom of the barrel outfit. She did enough on the slopes to embaress herself with her skiing style. She's ballsy, I'll give her that, she did try a "jump" encouraged by B and then fell big. On her face. It was sweeeeeet.