19 October 2011

Day 19: Ok, ok, I get it!

So as I said in a few of my last posts I am feeling a bit low again. 2 weeks ago I felt like I was healing, I didn't feel 100% but I felt on the way, positive and a little bit happy. Then the past week I've felt down again. I felt like I have gone backwards, regressed, I feel like I will NEVER get happy, I feel like I will NEVER feel like myself again. I feel like all this damn healing is taking waaaaaay too long. I took this feeling to the counselor. She said I was impatient for progress and I am doing fine. My Mum agrees. My friend Amanda says I am going strong even though I don't always feel it. Then in tonights Yin class, the teacher starts off with this quote. A chinese proverb: Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. Ok, ok, it's a very Yin thing to say but hello, WAS SHE TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME??? Then during a long stretch she told a story about a woman who went hiking with a sore ankle, rushed ahead during the hike and hurt her ankle again and had to be carried down the mountain pissed off on a mule (it was Peru), and then another quote, too long to remember exact words but it was all about going where the pain is blah blah blah and not rushing away.... Far out man,  Alright already universe, I get it! I hear your call! I gotta chill out and stop being impatient. I suppose people just gotta keep telling you till you finally listen. I will listen this time I swear.

Also, bloody love kindle. The yoga teacher was reading from a book by someone called Pema Chodron, whose name I just came across the other day god knows where. I go home, find her on amazon download one of her books literally 15 minutes after I hear her first quote in yoga. Kindle. You rock.

If I had a dog I would totally take it to yoga.

2 homie be sending comment love:

Kyle said...

Happy to hear you have made peace with the fact that you're "growing slowly."

And hopefully a Kindle can help take your mind off things. IT IS THE BEST INVENTION IN THE WORLD!!! I'm serious.

hastamananbanana said...

I know how much you love your kindle too Kyle! Whenever someone asks me about mine I gush so much they think I must get a commission on sales! Wish you could do more book sharing on kindle though... only drawback. :(