3 November 2008

I'm part Thai now

So last week my sister said to me, "Oh by the way, we are going to have a new step mother next Tuesday" WTF in capital letters, was my reply.

So my parents have been divorced for about 14 years, Dad has had a few girlfriends, since. One I didn't like much cause she pretended she was really posh even though she was going out with a man, nicknamed Keg who bought a house on a property precisely for the Greyhound training facilities, replaced the Australian flag on the flag pole in the yard with a VB flag (his favourite beer) and named his new house VB (said beer) Lodge. She was kidding herself.

Another one I didn't mind too much. Her name was Peg, which rhymed with Keg and she drank whiskys and cokes at the same rate my dad drank stubbies of VB. She was hardcore. I thought they suited. They also kinda looked the same.

Then Dad started going to Thailand. Considering that dad is pretty damn racist and is known to call chinese people chinks, and probably cannot tell the difference between Thais and chinese cause in his words "They all look the bloody same" this was quite surprising. He was obviously taking advantage of the infamous Thai sex industry. Its gross and hideous to me, but what can I do. I hardly ever speak to my dad, I can hardly disown him. Well, after a few trips there was one such Thai lady that he seemed to be quite interested in. She was a chef (score!) and eventually came back to OZ to be with him, steal my inheritance from under my very eyes and enjoy life at VB lodge (poor love).

There is no time for embaressment. There is no way I can spin this story to make it sound less embaressing. I just gotta accept it, get over it and hope they have a little Thai bebe.

She has a son, 8yrs old, who is named...wait for it.... EGG. I think Egg quietly rocks. (even though i don't know him yet).

So on a Tuesday, (a perfect day for a wedding don't you think?) Dad married the Thai. So now I have a step mother. And you know what... I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME! No one has ever told me! I have NO IDEA WHAT MY STEPMOTHERS NAME IS.
There's gotta be a bright side to your dad marrying a mail order bride, so I have a few questions:
Does she cook good Pad Thai?
Can I now get a working Visa in Thailand?
Does her family live by the beach or in a picturesque landscape?
When will I have a Thai step brother/sister?

5 homie be sending comment love:

Ank said...

wow, quite a story KristyP!
PS you're hilarious!
I hope Egg is all you hope for in a step bro and more (: Ank

Liam said...

Lil K, I like EGG too: strong/ fragile.

Asian wife: can't say I ever agreed with bogan-with-young-thai/philippino/viet/chinese... Bugs me. But if they're actually into each other for real now, that's not too bad.

tut, tut on the bastard for not mentioning the wedding... or his wife's name.

screw the 'working' visa idea - your dad owes you a trip to thailand to meet your family.

Mamacita Chilena said...

holy cow, this is INSANE. Are you for real?!? I have a stepdad. Coincidentally, he proposed while I was in Chile when I was younger.

Sarah Von said...

Wow. Wow. Egg. Congrats on your new family? ;D

restaurant refugee said...

As someone who also has a "complicated" relationship with my father, I can understand the strange awkwardness when you hear things about his life. You feel it, you attempt to process it, but don't know quite where to put it in the end.