7 October 2008

It would be so awesome to have given birth to TuPac.

Just got back from a weekend in Lagos, Portugal. I went with Discover Sevilla, a tour company that I do design work for, they offered me a free trip, all I had to do was help out a little when needed. My good friend Rachel works for Discover Sevilla so as I wasn't doing anything else & Marcos was in Berlin running the marathon I decided that drinking at the beach with Rachel and 115 20yr old American students would be fun.
Well it was fun, it seems that "helping out" was drinking beers with Rachel, occasionally counting students and making sure they didn't fall over when so drunk they cant even walk. I did have fun but it has to be said that 20 yr old american students are fucking freaks of nature. Instead of making me feel old, which would have been quite possible considering my newly 30´d fragile state, they made me feel damn happy that I wasn't 20 years old and therefore may have to hang out with people like them. They also made me worry for the future state of America.
At the opening party, the people at the bar had written on the blackboard out the front. "Cum and party, fuck on or at the bar" and the security guards wore TShirts with a stick figure on the front, that had no head, with words below that read. "SECURITY, needs head" I mean REALLY! Call me prudish but can people really get away with this shit? Inside the party, there was shockingly some nerdy looking boys who really knew how to cut some moves on the dance floor, then some girl got off the podium and I saw her undies, then I saw some people doing my all time dancefloor HATE move, The Man Sandwich, (girl in the middle, 2 guys gyrating into her from either side) then I had to get the hell out of there.
Manning the door, I met Brad, one of "the kids" he couldn't stand up, so I stood with him on the wall, he had mentos, he kept trying to give me one but kept dropping them cause he lost his motor skills probably at 2pm that same day. I took them off him and ate them all. Sucker. I made the mistake of asking Brad what he was studying. He got into his spiel, something like this "Finance Consulting, I am going to work for the American government, where I will have the safety and benefits of working for the government BUT I WILL EARN LOTS OF FUCKING MONEY" He spat in my face when he said that last bit. I can't even tell you what some of the other american kids said to me, they would speak and I would have absolutely no response to what they said, cause it was 1. boring or 2. made no sense. How can someone speak and make no sense? These are suposedly literate people.
Day 2 one guy said "I just want to immerse myself in the portugese culture" he was so drunk he couldn't walk straight and had the red face of someone who had been drinking for 36 hours straight. He was asleep in the corner of the bar an hour later. Can he hear himself speak? I didnt want to know what he was studying at university cause I feared he would respond, medicine or politics and then I would want to spear tackle him into the cultured portugese earth. Then he would sue me and I would then be a financial contributor to his path to greatness in american medicine or politics.
I think its their voices... A friend and I once decided that Americans speak every sentence like what they are saying is the most important and truest thing in the world. I have a lot of american friends here and not one of them speak like that, so I have come to know that this can be true only with young americans. Well, I have met some young americans that don't speak like that so maybe they come from a certain part of america and its their specific accent. I don't know. But I do know that its annoying, but for comedic value, it does make what they say sound even more outrageous.
I was sitting in front of 2 girls on the bus, these girls had the annoying way of speaking that I talk about above. They were listening to music, sharing an iPod and talking at the same time, talking so loudly so I heard every mindless word they uttered. Some of their riveting conversations went as follows:

Girl 1: Oh my god, I would have like, loved to have given birth to TuPac, like you know, be his mother.
(This was when I started listening to them, I simply cannot describe what it feels like to hear someone say something so stupid but with such conviction. and um isnt TuPac like DEAD?)
Girl 2: Yeah totally, or like, someone equally as famous or just like, equally as cool.


Girl 1: Can you like, sing, because you seem to know lots about music and performing and stuff and I feel like you must be a really good singer or something.
Girl 2: Modest Um, well. Then silence so she must have been shrugging or blushing.
Girl 1. Oh my god you can sing! I would so LOVE to hear you sing like on tape or something.
Why wait to hear it on tape, she is sitting right next to you! Is tape better than hearing it live?
Then about 1 minute of silence... Then the girl starts singing! Like ballad singing, to really show off her excellent (it really wasnt) voice. Oh for the love of god. SHUT UP!



Girl 1: I feel like I wrote this song I know it so well.
Girl 2: You wrote this song!?
Girl 1: No I just feel like I could have cause I know it so well.


Girl 1: Do you think they were really in love?
Girl 2: Yes, they were SO in love, like really in love.
Girl 1: What do you think Justin thinks about her now, is he worried about her? Do you think he like calls her to see how she is?
Girl 2: Yeah, definately, cause they're still friends.
Talking about Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.

Entertainment Puro.

1 homie be sending comment love:

Sarita said...

This is definitely your funniest blog entry ever. I am so ashamed to call myself an American and hope I never sounded like Girl 1 or Girl 2!