NEW YORK

Being that I havent blogged for ages, I thought it about damn time I blogged about my USA trip and Jodys wedding... so long ago but so much damn fun and looking back on the pics I just want her to get married again.

I visited such great cities they have to be blogged about seperately....

We´ll start in New York...
The plan was to meet Mum in New York. Is there anything more glamorous than meeting someone in New York? Well of course in theory its glamorous but in reality after a 12 hour flight where I got drunk for the first time (love Lufthansa! They passed by after dinner asking if I wanted "Cognac or Baileys" as my after dinner beverage. Of course I accepted a Cognac as Baileys is for wimps, and they presented me with a giant glass of the throat burning and instant sleep inducing Cognac. Nice one.) We co-ordinated flight times perfectly and she arrived a couple of hours before me at JFK airport. We had an exciting reunion, hugs, kisses, but no tears, which was unusual for Mum cause she normally cries at everything, I soon found out why. She said while she was waiting she ordered a coffee so she was alert for my arrival after such a long flight from Sydney, they served her a coffee that contained so much liquid that she could have washed her car with it. She drank it of course and was so very high on the caffeine she was unable to muster even a tear for her long lost daughter.

I always try to stay in the cheapest hotels, and my mum is used to this after doing a bit of travel with me in europe, this hotel was by far one of the worst I had ever stayed it...strangely Marcos recommended it to me, and he loved it! I don´t think he stayed on the same floor as us cause ours was rough, Mums bed had a blood stain on it! I said it was brown and could have just as easily of been poo but that was no consolation. Lucky hers was a double bed and she vowed to sleep on the "clean" side, she is a good sport. We liked the crazy characters that we passed in the hall, one was a loud black prostitute (well maybe she wasnt a prostitute but who wears red lipstick, big hair, heels and tight black capris at 8am?) a sweet looking russian prostitute (well maybe she wasnt a prostitute but who wears a night dress and heels through the hallways of a dodgy hostel and leaves her door slightly ajar to see only a bed surrounded by 50 tealight candles?) and a man who looked homeless but he wasn´t homeless obviously cause he lived at the hostel. They were our savoury neighbours for the duration of our stay. I told Mum to toughen up, the New York experience calls for a level of danger!

On the first day we met up with an old friend Lidia, supposedly just for lunch, but of course when the kids from Blacktown come out to play, lunch turns into 3 cocktails at a bar afterwards and stumbling through the streets of New York trying on hats in random shops. My first cosmopolitans for the trip so it needed to happen. That evening Mum and I had tickets for the broadway show called "Jersey Boys" we had both bought special outfits and accessories for our Broadway theatre experience but of course after a bottle of wine and 3 cocktails during the day there was no time for glamour and we needed to fill in a bit of time before the show.
We came across this bar, the russian vodka bar that advertised an "attitude adjustment hour". I told Mum that she had a serious attitude problem and that the russians needed to adjust it. She agreed that she had a very bad attitude too so we went to try and adjust it with some more cosmopolitans.




We were starting to see a common theme in america, everything was giant. Mum ordered an ice tea and it was twice the size of her head, she drank about 1/8th of the thing! Too giant! We stopped at a deli for sandwiches, the sandwiches had about 80 slices of meat on them! Mine came with a side of chips, they were the size of my head! (americans must measure everything with their head, fuck rulers!) We couldnt stop laughing at the sheer absurdity of it!

I loved all the New York accents, like on TV but in real life! We went to a gospel church in Harlem where the pastor did not disappoint with his "Praise the Lord" deep loud, african american sounding voice. One guy was fighting with his girlfriend on the street, she was walking ahead defiantly and he was tagging behind, baggy pants and all shouting, "Fuck you biiitch, you want some other nigga, plenty otha niggas out there for ya" It was just so exciting! One glamorously dressed couple near central park stopped to give us directions and then came out with an accent like Nanny Fine! Straight from Queens! So cool!